When You're Exhausted, Try These Uplifting Thoughts
You've probably heard many of the commonly recommended strategies for how to recover when you feel down or exhausted. These include old favorites like self-compassion and exercise. If you'd like to try something different, this post will provide new, less conventional ideas for ways you can change your thinking and give yourself a mental and emotional boost.
When we're feeling down or just plain exhausted, our thinking narrows.
Changing and broadening your perspective can give you a lift when you need it most. Here are some novel thoughts for when you need a pick-me-up.
1. You've already beaten the odds.
Recently, my 5-year-old has been struggling with anxiety about learning to swim. She loves learning about biology, so I told her, "We already know you're a great swimmer." She looked at me puzzled. She already knows about the birds and the bees, so I reminded her that out of many millions of sperm, she had been the most successful swimmer. It worked and helped her swimming confidence!
Whenever you're facing what seem like grim odds of success, remind yourself of the odds you've already beaten. If the odds you're currently facing are say, 1/10 or 1/20, consider that your very existence is evidence you've already beaten odds of 1/10,000,000 or more. You were already the most successful swimmer out of millions, or at least half of you was!
2. You're here because you're resilient, adaptable, and smart.
A lot of psychology is focused on the ways humans are stupid, like our decision-making biases and ways we don't act in our best long-term interests.
There's some truth to all that, but it's only one side of the coin. The other side is that we are all here because mammals thrived in the incredibly difficult post-asteroid environment that wiped out the dinosaurs.
Jumping forward in time, we homo sapiens are here because we outsurvived our early relatives, like the neanderthals.
Courage, grit, an urge to explore and experiment, intellect, and all the other positive qualities you can imagine, are in-built capacities of humans, including you. They're why we're still here and dominant. All of the things you want to be, you already are, at least to an extent. Lean into the strengths that already exist within you.
3. Not much happens through individual achievement.
People put a lot of pressure on themselves to succeed as an individual. We think we should be able to do everything and be everything.
Even people who are lauded as individual visionaries (e.g., Elon Musk, Steve Jobs) would've been able to do very little if they had worked solo. We all need other people to achieve our potential. We learn through the "zone of proximal development," which is the gap between what we can do on our own and what we can do with help.
If you're not succeeding in ways you would like to be, rather than devolving into self-criticism, think about what partners you need to help you. Also, try taking a broad perspective. We're all here inching our species forward a little with whatever discoveries and contributions we make through our lives and work. Very few people are responsible for huge leaps, like the invention of electricity, but many, many of us contribute in tiny ways to a kinder, more advanced human species.
When you're exhausted, it's OK to retreat and regroup for a little while. However, beyond a certain point, withdrawing and down-shifting when you feel exhausted will leave you feeling more so. When you've had enough recovery, you can also use feeling down or dissatisfied as a prompt to take more risks and try to make more meaningful contributions. Your emotions are merely a signaling system. Down emotions can be a signal that what you're currently doing isn't meaningful enough to you. You can counteract this by pursuing whatever feels more meaningful.
When you're completely depleted, your thoughts may be unreliable. For example, you may be harder on yourself than is justified. Or you may predict it will take you longer to bounce back than it actually will. There are some well-established ways to counteract the down (or flat) emotions that are associated with exhaustion, and the accompanying self-critical thoughts. For some variety, try the novel thinking outlined here to broaden your thinking, and lift your mood and confidence.