Personality-Based New Year's Resolutions
This is the second part of a two-part article on using your Big Five personality traits to guide your New Years Resolutions. The first part discussed how to determine your Big Five traits. (Go here to take the test.) It also discussed suggested resolutions for people who are HIGH in various traits. For example, people who are high in Conscientiousness might want to consider being more diligent about taking time off from work, e.g., not reading or responding to emails after work hours, and keeping one day a week completely free from work concerns. This part will provide recommendations for people who are LOW in various traits.
If you are LOW in Conscientiousness...
This is probably why you stopped making resolutions years ago. Follow-through really isn't your strong suit, and resolutions tend to demand a lot of boring persistence.
Here's the trick for you: Know that you are never going to be able to make yourself do something that you don't want to do. You need to reframe your resolutions. They can't be about giving up something you like doing (e.g., overeating or binge-watching television), and they can't be about starting something that you don't like doing (e.g., lifting weights or giving to charity).
If you want to lose weight (for example), you need to find a way to do more of what you already like doing. Let's say you hate exercising, but you love talking to your friends. Maybe you could start walking with friends more often (and maybe trust one of them to organize it, because, again, that's not your strong suit). If you have two favorite foods (e.g., BBQ and sushi), then you shouldn't resolve to "give up" one (self-denial will just make you crave it even more), you should give yourself permission to enjoy more of the less caloric option. If you are stuffing your face with sushi, you can't be eating BBQ. And either way, you are having a good time.
So the good news is that this new year, your resolutions should be about doing more of what you already want to do — just be a bit craftier about it.
If you are LOW in Extraversion...
Why would you set yourself up for failure by resolving to "meet more people" or "make more friends?" You might think that this is something you should do (after all, people have been criticizing your loner behavior for years), but, deep down, it's not actually something that you want to do. And as the Low Conscientiousness folks know so well, you can't make yourself do something you don't really want to do, at least not for long.
But as an Introvert, you are running some risks from your self-imposed isolation. Aristotle was right about people being social animals. You do need some society in your life. So why not take some time this year to cultivate the relationships you already have?
Make a list of the people you know. (You see? You already know a lot of people!) Now choose a few of those people to focus on this year. Pick one a week and give them a call, send them an email, or arrange to share lunch with them. In each of these contacts, share a little bit about what you've been up to and, even more importantly, how you've been feeling. Don't just share your behaviors (what you've been doing), but share your thoughts and feelings, too. It's okay to go slow and start with saying something like how you found the new superhero movie to be boring and uninspired, but also share your thoughts on how it could have been better. Start using the phrases "I think..." and "I feel..." more frequently, and people will be less inclined to think of you as "hard to get to know."
If you are LOW in Agreeableness...
Thanks for being you. The world needs skeptics, critics, and the boy who shouted, "The Emperor Has No Clothes!" Putting Truth above Feelings is essential to the advancement of science, engineering, and technical fields.
But, some people probably think that you're kind of a jerk. You know this, and probably wear their disapprobation as a Badge of Honor. The concern is that by being too blunt, even tactless, in calling other people out, you might actually lose some of your authority. Not every conversation has to end in an argument. You're not being paid to fact-check randos on the internet. It's even possible that your recollection of facts might be inaccurate (no one's memory is perfect).
So, perhaps this is the year to dial it back a notch and let other people enjoy their own versions of reality, even if they're wrong. Save your natural contentiousness for when it counts: Wresting market share from a business competitor; opposing a development plan in front of City Council; producing scientific research that shakes up your field. But give the people closest to you a pass. Try practicing this phrase: "That's interesting. I'd never thought about it that way before."
If you are LOW in Openness to Experience...
You like routine, so your New Years Resolutions probably aren't ever that earth-shaking. You're not going to try to visit 5 new countries, 10 new restaurants, or read 20 new books. You're steady and predictable, and maybe, just maybe, a little boring. Not that there's anything wrong with boring — It's what some people call being consistent.
The concern for you is that your "tried-and-true" way of doing things might turn into "tired-and-true." You don't need novelty for novelty's sake, but you do need to feel some level of passion about what you are doing with your one and only life. If you enjoy woodworking, is there a new piece of equipment you've always wanted to try, or a new type of project you have thought about tackling?
You don't need a Revolution, just a Revival. Keep doing what you do, but add just enough spice to re-engage your interest and to make sure that you are not just going through the motions.
If you are LOW in Neuroticism...
You are probably one the least likely people to make Resolutions, just as you are less likely to seek out psychotherapy. Why would you, since nothing is really bothering you? You are far more resistant to stress than most people, but there are risks even in resilience. For example, you are more likely than other people to shrug off or ignore what others might experience as a worrying physical symptom. If you have not had a Wellness Exam in more than a year, that might be a good resolution for you to make.
Another one might be to try to be a bit more sympathetic to the worrying and distress of others, even if you can't really see what the point is of all their worrying and distress. Empathy doesn't mean worrying with them and being distressed with them. It just means that you make an effort to understand their experience, which, granted, is far different from your own. Try this the next time someone close to you shares their distress over some local news: "I can hear that this is very upsetting to you. I wonder if there is anything we can do to help the people involved." Don't let your default response be a shrug. The gift of your stress resilience means that you are the person most likely to take useful action in an emergency. Don't just sit there because if you do, it looks like you don't care.