Talking To Your Kids About Asian Hate
Acts of asian hate crimes are scaring parents and kids resulting in parents telling their children not to go anywhere by themselves
Helping parents breakthrough barriers and start talking to their kids about the rise in hate crimes!
Learn what Asian teens are saying about Asian hate.
“After the shooting in Atlanta, I was surprised that none of my friends reached out to me. Not one of my professors brought it up in class. .."
Talking To Your Kids About Asian Hate
Are you talking to your children about the rise in Asian hate crimes in America this year?
In the shadow of the recent mass shooting in Atlanta, GA that killed six women of Asian descent, it is essential that parents directly discuss the recent hate-fueled attacks with their children.
The history of discrimination of people of Asian descent is another one of America’s blemished and unsavory stories. Unfortunately, Asian discrimination did not start with this latest rise of violent acts that are present in cities and towns throughout America. The Asian story of discrimination, isolation and hate has been perpetuated for over a century and needs to be taught and discussed with children. Parents—it is important to teach your children that hate - whoever it is against—is not acceptable.
As a child and adolescent psychotherapist, I am curious to know if you, as parents, are addressing this topic with your children. If so, how are you addressing this often dismissed topic of racism? In this year of too much hate and trauma, perhaps you feel too tired, worn down, or just at a loss of words on how to address yet another ‘really uncomfortable” topic. Yet, all of these reasons pale against the gravity of our reality, in which many lives are at stake.
Last week, I had the privilege of speaking with several young Asian people to gain greater insight and knowledge into how they were feeling and what they were thinking. I hope that my interviews with Asian American teens and twenty-somethings can help you find the courage to speak with your children.
When I asked: “What are you feeling and thinking in light of the rise of anti-asian hate?” a teen responded, “It shouldn’t take a tragedy for people to talk.”
“After the shooting in Atlanta, I was surprised that none of my friends reached out to me. Not one of my professors brought it up in class. It is frustrating, hurtful and upsetting that no one talks about the rise in hatred against people of Asian descent. I feel no sense of solidarity.” said a twenty-year-old.
I asked, “How has this rise in hate and violence changed your life?” and teen replied, “I am afraid to go places by myself. I find I don’t trust people.” The twenty-year- old expressed: “This hate isn’t new—it has been increasing dramatically under the last administration, especially since the outbreak of COVID-19.”
Parents, grandparents—no matter what age your child is—please take this opportunity to build and further develop qualities of tolerance, acceptance, love and kindness. This begins with having meaningful discussions and demands you to listen.
Tips for talking to your kids about Asian Hate
1. Speak openly—be honest about bigotry, stereotypes, sexism! This helps a child learn that it is not only okay to talk about these topics but it is necessary.
2. BE present! Ask open-ended questions: “What have you been hearing and seeing about Asian hate and racism?” “Have you ever been discriminated against?” “How did it make you feel?”
3. Who is in your community? Do all the people look and sound like you? Model equity— parents are children's first teachers. What words do you use? What judgmental comments slip out of your mouth. Be mindful; your child is listening and watching.
4. Do something! As a family, take a stand to challenge racism. Join a group, start a group - be active in working to solve a problem. As a member of our society we all in share in the responsibility to see ills and stand up to make the world a kinder and safer place for all.
Silence is never the only option.