When Empathy Backfires
Studies show that the expression of empathy has far-reaching effects in our personal and professional lives. Evidence suggests that many people believe that empathy is important, too, especially when it relates to mental health.
Against the backdrop of a global pandemic and a divisive political climate in the United States, calls for empathy have become louder and more urgent. We encourage empathy for those inflicted with COVID-19, employees working remotely, and those struggling with unemployment.
But do we always want people to show empathy? Not so, said researchers in a recently published study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. The new study suggests that, although empathy is often portrayed as a virtue, people who express empathy are not necessarily viewed favorably. "Empathy has become a sort of 'catch-all' for desirable personal qualities," said Y. Andre Wang, lead author of the study. "But people's views on empathy are actually more complicated.”
In a series of seven studies, researchers recruited more than 3,000 participants throughout the United States. They showed these participants various scenarios in which someone shares a personal experience with another individual. In some studies, the personal experience was negative, such as stress from work problems; in other experiments, the experience was positive, such as a recent job promotion. The individual responded to this personal experience either with empathy or neutrally. Participants then rated their impressions of the responder, such as how much they liked the responder, and how warm they found the responder to be.
Who Receives Empathy?
"We found that what people think of empathizers depends on who is receiving their empathy. People don't necessarily like or respect those who show empathy toward morally questionable individuals," Wang said. The character sharing the personal experience was portrayed either positively or negatively. For example, in one study, some participants learned that she worked for a white nationalist organization, and other participants learned that she worked for a children's hospital. In another study, the character sharing the personal experience was either pro-vaccination or anti-vaccination. (This particular study was conducted at the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic.)
The researchers found that the portrayal mattered. Participants liked and respected the empathizer, but only when the character receiving empathy was liked as well. When the character was disliked (as a white nationalist or an "anti-vaxxer"), participants did not like and respect the empathizer as much. In some studies, participants even preferred it when the responder condemned rather than empathized with the character. "People are often encouraged to empathize with disliked others, but our findings suggest that they are not always viewed favorably for doing so," the researchers concluded.
Is Empathy in the Eye of the Observer?
Although empathy is widely studied, little is known about how people evaluate empathizers when they are not themselves the recipients of empathy. These findings have implications for how empathy operates in the current state of the nation, where empathy is often touted as a solution to division, strife, and improved engagement. "Is more empathy always better? Not according to our participants." Wang said. "Our findings suggest that people see empathy as a social signal. Whom you choose to empathize with shows whom you care about and what you stand for.”
The key to creating strong and healthy relationships is good communication. The findings from the new study suggest that companies, therapists, family, and friends advocating empathy pay attention to who the empathy receivers are. The purpose of empathy isn’t to endorse bad character or behaviors, but the study implies that a one-size-fits-all approach could do just that. Empathy might be more beneficial when empathizers ensure that it isn’t perceived as a reward for inadequate, unethical, or immoral actions.