How to Be Less Judgmental
Have you ever stopped to think about how many times a day you make judgments about people, situations, or events? It's a common habit that we all engage in.
For instance, when we meet someone, we tend to judge how they look and make assumptions about their lifestyle. As we scroll through social media, we decide whether or not we like people’s outfits, scrutinize their hairstyles, scoff at their antics, and even judge what they’re eating for breakfast.
Being judgmental means looking at things through a lens of criticism, says Meghan Marcum, PsyD, chief psychologist at AMFM Healthcare.
Judgment is a cognitive ability that helps us assess people, situations, and relationships based on the sensory evidence available to us to come to conclusions and make decisions.1 While this is an important capability, it’s important for us to wield it carefully and not be overly critical of others.
This article explores the benefits of being more open-minded and suggests some ways to be less judgemental.
Characteristics of Judgmental People
Dr. Marcum lists some characteristics of judgmental people as compared to those who are more open-minded.
Judgmental People
Are overly critical
Make negative assumptions, without having all the facts
See the world through personal biases
Lack empathy for others
Devalue others in order to feel superior
See others as opponents or competitors
Are often unhappy
Open-Minded People
Are understanding
Keep an open mind and try to look for the best in people and situations
Maintain a fair and reasonable outlook
Have empathy for others
Don’t compare themselves to others
Have healthy, supportive relationships
Are more content
Benefits of Being Less Judgmental
Dr. Marcum discusses some of the benefits of being less judgmental:
Wider horizons: Looking at circumstances without judgment allows you to consider additional perspectives outside of your own awareness and gain helpful insights into what other people experience. It can also help you increase empathy and compassion for people who may be different from you.
More positivity: Judgment comes from a place of negativity. Being less judgmental allows you to view the world with a more positive outlook. Research shows us that having a positive attitude helps us live happier, healthier lives.
Improved relationships: Feeling judged alienates others and makes it hard for them to trust you. Being compassionate and understanding on the other hand helps build supportive relationships.
6 Ways to Be Less Judgmental
Dr. Marcum shares some strategies that can help you be less judgmental.
Pay Attention to Your Thoughts
The first step to being less judgmental is to recognize that you’re doing it. Start paying more attention to your thoughts, so you can identify when you’re being judgmental.
Look for thoughts or phrases like:
“What is [person] doing/saying/wearing?"
"[Person] should be doing [action] instead of [action].”
“This [person/thing] is so [negative adjective].”
Question Your Assumptions
If you have a negative view of someone, ask yourself what it’s based on. Did you formulate your view based on facts? Do you have all the relevant information or do you need to inquire further about the situation?
Make an effort to explore all the possible sources of information before coming to a conclusion. If this isn’t possible, consider leaving your opinion neutral or open-ended.
Recognize Your Biases
Be aware of your own biases and cultural standards. Recognize that your own view of life is limited based on your own experiences.
Remember that other people with different cultural, social, professional, religious, or ethnic backgrounds may not share the same views. Try to put yourself in their shoes and see things from their perspective.
Be Empathetic
Practice empathy and compassion for people, even if they look, think, dress, speak, or act differently than you do.
Think about how you have felt when someone formed an opinion of you that wasn’t accurate. Did you feel hurt, angry, upset, ashamed, embarrassed, or disappointed? Let those feelings guide you toward being more compassionate toward others.
Expand Your Horizons
Make an effort to expand your horizons and expose yourself to new ideas and perspectives. Meet new people and talk to them about their lives. Experiment with different activities and try new foods. Read lots of books and watch informative content. Travel as much as you are able to.
Practice Positivity
With practice, you can develop a more positive mindset. If you catch yourself thinking something negative about something or someone, challenge yourself to see something positive in the situation instead.
You can also take a few minutes every night to list the good things that happened that day and be thankful for all the things you’re grateful for. You can choose to do this exercise by yourself in your mind. Or you can note it down in a journal or practice it with a loved one.
A Word From Verywell
While all of us are guilty of being judgmental at some point or another, it’s a bad habit that can breed negativity. Being more open-minded can help us widen our horizons, gain new perspectives, and build healthier relationships.