Do You Put the "Self" in Self-Care?
“Self-care”–it’s a buzzword on social media these days. The concept itself isn’t new, but social media has grabbed onto it as the new trend to promote. Celebrities, influencers, and organizations alike remind their followers how important it is to engage in self-care. In fact, one of Apple’s 2020 app trends of the year was self-care, just as it was in 2018.
A "bullet journal"
However, the versions of self-care that are promoted on social media tend to be the most “aesthetic” ones: lavish bubble baths, yoga on picturesque beaches, and elaborately decorated diaries called “bullet journals.” Social media feeds are full of these photos, as people are eager to show off the beautiful, splendid results of their self-care. Photos that, for many, make self-care look like an unobtainable dreamland.
Personally, while I find all these things to be relaxing in theory, I am incompatible with all of them for one reason: they don’t work. At least, they don’t work for me. For some, the activities listed above probably sound heavenly, but I cannot bring myself to feel the same. Bubble baths leave me bored and sweaty, I’m too inflexible to enjoy yoga, and bullet journals bring out the unsatisfied perfectionist in me. I wish I could enjoy these activities, but their emotional outcomes feel like the opposite of self-care to me.
Put Yourself in Self-Care
It has taken time, but I am slowly figuring out what self-care means to me. My version of self-care often includes exercising each day, tidying up my spaces, and maybe taking some time to play my piano if I feel like it. I have tried revisiting journaling since I love to write, but I have never been able to shake my inner proofreader that cannot reread my own writing without judgment.
My self-care doesn’t always look like self-care. Sometimes, my day’s self-care is simply writing down my grocery list for the next day, giving my busy mind one less thing to worry about forgetting by the morning. If your version of self-care is another person’s dreaded task, it doesn’t take away from the benefits it provides you. Just because self-care is trending, it doesn’t mean your version has to look trendy.
Taking care of yourself doesn’t have to fit into a certain aesthetic, and it doesn’t need to involve using multicolored bath-bombs or a flawlessly decorated bullet journal to be considered self-care. Knowing what gives you the most inner peace is far more enriching than being too out of touch with yourself to know what TLC you need. At the end of the day, don’t stress yourself out by thinking you don’t destress enough simply because your relaxation doesn’t look like everyone else’s. If you’ve found the activities and routines that help you go to bed each night with a clear mind, you’ve discovered how to put the “self” in self-care.