Mitigating Absolutist Thinking
SUMMARY
In the absence of certainty, we grasp for reassurances. It’s human nature. We seek out details that reinforce what we want to believe.
Obstacles can be vehicles for growth
Differences—in all their forms—challenge us to move outside of our comfort zones and expand our world view.
Navigating risk and uncertainty is a never ending endeavor. No amount of reassurance will ever quell all of the anxieties we have in our lifetimes.
It seems there is a common consensus that as a society, we have become more and more polarized over the past decade. There is an “us vs. them” mentality that has infiltrated US politics, an “either / or” belief system that has characterized many religions, and a oppositional tone set within media networks intended to spark debate between conflicting sociopolitical ideologies.
Why have we become so polarized and divided? Why have folks gravitated more and more over the years toward absolutist thinking?
The term “absolutism” refers to phrases, words and ideas that signify totality—either in scale or likelihood. There are two forms of absolutism; ‘dichotomous thinking’, which refers to an “all or nothing”, “black or white” mindset, and ‘categorical imperatives.” Rigid (often highly moralistic) expectations placed oneself or others. Both dichotomous thinking and categorical imperatives are considered cognitive distortions in modern psychology, since most of reality and the living of everyday life takes place in the gray area. Between these extremes.
A 2018 study conducted by Al-Mosaiwi and Johnstone predicted and found that online chat groups for depression, anxiety and suicidal ideation contained more absolutist words than control groups. This finding confirmed the hypothesis that absolutist thinking can significantly contribute to disorders of mood and affect, which can in turn, negatively impact quality of life.
“The term cognitive miser, first introduced by the American psychologists Susan Fiske and Shelley Taylor in 1984, describes how humans seek the simplest and least effortful ways of thinking. Nuance and complexity is expensive – it takes up precious time and energy – so wherever possible we try to cut corners. This is why we have biases and prejudices, and form habits.”
It is natural for the human brain to look for the easiest explanation to a question. To simplify situations of complexity, and to find the workarounds that require the least amount of effort. It’s hard to sit with uncertainty. It’s scary when things change without our consent and we don’t have a roadmap for how to move ahead.
In the absence of certainty, we grasp for reassurances. It’s human nature. Fact-checking takes time. We seek out details that reinforce what we want to believe. It helps manage our anxiety.
Raising teenagers during a pandemic has been difficult and challenging. It has been hard to weigh the risks and the benefits of making choices that honor the emotional wellbeing of my kids while keeping them physically healthy and safe. I have had my fair share of instances of seeking out information that I wanted to hear—only to backpedal as new information became available. These decisions become more complicated when I allow my feelings to enter the picture—what I want for myself and my kids.
What I want and what is best are sometimes not the same thing. This is a hard life lesson, but it is a good one.
These are important times. They are tough times. We are trying to find our bearings in uncharted territory and learning to coexist with one another—often despite differences. That’s okay. The way we problem solve and navigate uncertainty becomes the roadmap for future generations.
The way through:
Obstacles as vehicles for growth: Life is full of obstacles and disappointments. From birth to the grave, we are confronted by forces beyond our control. Our ability to work through them, overcome them and evolve despite them is the tool that chisels away the stone of our personhood into the sculpture that becomes who we are. Obstacles help refine our critical thinking. They help pose questions that unearth deeper aspects of who we had thought ourselves to be.
If we begin to think of life as a grand adventure, then obstacles can become our friends. They invite creative new ways of thinking, being and relating. When we begin to realize that the only thing we are able to control is our response to what is happening outside of us, we find freedom.
We may become curious about these things, and this curiosity can invite us into deeper exploration of the anxieties we all share.
Harnessing adversity for transformation: When we feel as if the world is unfair, we only need to look around us to realize that this is a common sentiment among all human beings. When we look deeper into our own fears and begin to realize that we are not all that different than others, we begin to relax and understand that these differences are what make life interesting and give it texture.
Differences—in all their forms—challenge us to move outside of our comfort zones and expand our world view. When I realize that the person I don’t agree with is operating from within a place of fear, I can begin to let my guard down because I am no stranger to fear. This shared humanness can be the common ground we walk upon.
Navigating risk and uncertainty is a never ending endeavor. No amount of reassurance will ever quell all of the anxieties we have in our lifetimes. But if we learn to see obstacles as vehicles for growth, adversity as a tool for transformation and differences as an invitation to curiosity about our fears, we have less need for absolutist truths. Because the life adventure is always unfolding.