Talking as a Tool for Growth

h, more articulately presented idea. If you go through life, periodically talking out your not-fully-formed ideas, you’ll likely grow significantly.

Alas, talking out your idea or dilemma has risks. You could be perceived as  long-winded, even narcissistic. Your presentation may well not be coherent or ignoring important considerations. After all, you’re presenting your idea in an attempt to improve and clarify it.

Here are ways to maximize the benefit and minimize the liability:

Before subjecting others to your idea, you might first outline it in writing. If that feels like too much work, just talk it aloud privately. Perhaps record and listen to it while noting what you liked and didn’t like about your presentation. At the end, ask yourself, “If I were a listener, would I really understand what you were saying?” Would I think it was well-reasoned? Presented in a way that makes me want to agree? If you’re not, try again.

Next, you might ask a friend or colleague to listen to your presenting it. If you're wondering whether to marry your sweetheart, ask a trusted friend. If you're trying to convince a Trump voter of liberal views' wisdom, ask a thoughtful Trump voter. If you’re offering an idea or series of ideas to people in your profession, ask a friend in that profession.

Before launching in, set expectations and get assent, for example, “I have a half-baked idea and it would help if I could trot it out for you, and then you tell me what you really think about it. Are you willing?"

If it’s a full presentation you’d like to talk out, do a trial run, perhaps for free, in front of an audience. Often libraries, religious organizations, and service clubs such as  Rotary and Kiwanis are looking for free speakers.

Before you begin and at the end of your presentation, make clear that you want to improve it, so you’d appreciate their unvarnished questions and comments.

The takeaway

Talking out an idea or dilemma, perhaps along with outlining and journaling, can be a powerful tool for personal growth. And as long as you ask for permission and feedback, the benefits usually far outweigh the liabilities.

By Marty Nemko, Ph.D.